Character Wittnesses

Have you ever thought about who'd you want as your character witness? Surely, I'm not the only one who ever thinks of these things right? I mean I don't ever plan on breaking any laws, but I just like to think of myself as "prepared". If I am ever arrested I figure it will be because of road rage, or because of sale gone terribly wrong at the mall, or if someone does something to my kids. I mean I like to think of myself as pretty reasonable, but if you touch my kids I'll jump on you like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew and if that happens I want to have my character witnesses lined up. Diane, friend since 3rd grade, not only knows to much but has the photos to prove it. Cindy, my friend since the 6th grade immediately has to be crossed off of my list, she hates confrontation, so the first time a prosecutor questioned her she fold like an old metal lawn chair. And Lisa would be no help as she would probably be sitting in the seat next to me on trial as my accomplice. And so goes my list slowly dwindling, looks like I better stay out of trouble or make some new friends.