West Texas Friends Are Hard To Come By......

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of sweet caring considerate women out here that I have met and had a chance to hang out with, and a few that I have started to get close but then they escape, I mean move and leave me here to start over again. I just haven't had any luck finding those one or two women that you feel like you have known your whole life and whom you really connect with. I'm talking about the kind of friend that you could call at any time of the day or night to bail you out of jail. Now, I would like for it to be noted that I have not personally been in jail myself nor do I plan too, but having already had my identity stolen once I am just waiting for someone to take my name and knock of a liquor store or steal the Hope Diamond.

I think that part of my problem is that it has been so long since I have had to try and make friends that I have forgotten how it's done. I mean it used to be soooo easy, the teacher would sit you next to someone, you would show them how super cool you could draw unicorns, you borrow each others Guess jeans and "POOF!" you had yourself a friend for life. But now to my horror I find my self acting like the puppy at the pound whenever I am around a group of women willing them with my sad puppy dog eyes saying, "Pick me, pick me! I won't pee on your carpet or steal your bone! I'll be good and loyal and always have your back" or something pathetic like that. And I wonder how I came to be in this place where at 40 years old I am trying to convince people that I would be worth the time and trouble to bail out. And I get why it is so hard because the women out here already have best friends, people they have known for years, people who know their secrets and their faults and love them anyways and as a new person it is going to be a lot of work to be my best friend, there's 40 years of history to learn, and a husband and kids to get to know, and then there is my sense of humor which at it's best is sarcastic and sick so opening yourself up to making new friends is hard work, I get it.

It also makes me reflect on what type of friend I might have been back in Nevada. Was I open and inviting to new people or was I just so comfortable in the friendships I had that I maybe didn't include or embrace new friends who needed me? Did I pay enough attention to the people around me to even know when someone was in need of a kind word or gesture? I can honestly answer that I'm not sure I would have noticed, or would have taken the time or made the effort and that is not the kind of person/friend that I want to be. I am trying to use this time in my life to step out of my comfort zone and change the things about myself that I feel God would like for me to improve on, so pray for me to quit being the pathetic puppy and to start being confident and patient, and know that God has a plan for me. Oh and that I need to be on my best behavior and stay out of jail until God sends me "that friend"!!

Date Night In West Texas....

So as most parents know whenever the opportunity is presented to get out alone with your spouse most of us will do just about anything to make it happen. So when John called last week and said that I needed to get a babysitter because he and I were expected to be at the Andrews Chamber of Commerce dinner, I jumped at the idea of actually spending an evening conversing with adults and sharing a meal that did not involve clowns or toys or germ infested indoor playgrounds. Date night started well with my loving hubby opening doors and chit chatting, reminiscing about date nights past and how things have changed....Oh how things have changed. We arrived at the dinner just as the buffet line was opened (great timing on our part), so we grabbed a plate of bbq and found our seats. All was going well until an older man in a cowboy hat stood at the podium to present a citizenship award. Halfway into his second sentence he stuttered twice, grabbed his chest and started to sway, three men jumped up to steady him to which he then returned to the mic and stated that at least he now knew that his defibrillator was working and he continued his 10 minute presentation to introduce the winner of the award!!! No ambulance, no glass of water, no chair, he just wiped the sweat from his brow placed the cowboy hat back on his head and continued on. I was already reliving every episode of Grey's Anatomy and ER that I had ever watched in case I was called on to give CPR or perform heart surgery or something. But while I was lost in my medical drama thoughts I heard this cowboy describing the award winner as a man who had arrived in Andrews 85 years ago in a covered wagon had married his sweetheart and had lived happily with her until she died in May of 1981, then in August of 1981 he married his Sister-in-law.....what a minute.....what? I leaned over to John and whispered, "did he just say he married his dead wife's sister 3 months after the "love of his life died"????". REALLY?!? John gave me the "look" as in, "do not channel this man's dead wife and make a scene by giving this 96 year old man dirty looks across the crowd." I mean I know these things happen but is that something I really want to know about someone receiving an award? Does it make me think more of him or less of him....I'm gonna say less. I cannot even tell you what else defibrillator cowboy and then the award winner got up to receive his award and shuffled his way to the podium where he proceeded to grab the mic and go into a monologue of a day in his life when he was 6 years old that took (and I am not exaggerating here), 15 minutes. I cannot tell you what the rambling story was about except that it involved a crank ford, gasoline and a huge fire. Finally when that was over the evenings entertainment took the stage, finally a distraction that did not include death or betrayal and then she approached the mic, opened up her mouth and...YODELED! Yes our entertainment of the night was none other than the National Champion Yodeler all the way from New Mexico. She only got half a yodel out when my dear husband grabbed my purse and my hand and led/dragged me out the door. We laughed all the way to the car to which he opened my door, kissed me and promised me that if I died he would never marry my sister. Which would have been really creepy and sweet except that I don't have any sisters. Nice try Hunny!
Next date night I get to pick!

As the 2 Year Anniversary Approaches.....

Last week as John and I were talking to someone at his work they asked how long we have lived here in Midland to which I replied, "A little over a year", while at the same time John replied, "2 years". I started to correct him on that until I did the math in my head and realized that he was right! March will make 2 years that we have lived here and I have to admit that for some reason that makes me queasy...not that I am not liking it more here, but somehow I feel like I have lost a whole year of my life somehow while living here. I like the idea of telling people that we are new to Midland or "not from here", but now I guess I am from here. *gulp* I have come a long way from when we first moved here I no longer lock myself in the closet with a bottle of wine, or pretend that Oprah and Ellen are the only ones who really understand me, I am no longer angry everyday when John has a good day at work because I secretly wanted him to be as miserable as I was. I have given up trying to force people to be friends with me and now pray that God will just send a friend to knock on my door. I will admit that the school that the kids go to is like nothing back home and that they have opportunities here that they would never have back there, but it is so bitter sweet to read on Facebook how all of Gracy's old friends are still hanging out together and so close, knowing that Gracy will enter into middle school next year without the support of close friends. I picture her alone at the lunch table wearing too much dark eyeliner and black lipstick listening to Nirvana or Marilyn Manson. Oh gosh, I feel a panic attack coming on....I think I hear the bottle of wine in the fridge and the closet calling my name!!!