What Was God Thinking????

Have you ever sat back and quietly asked yourself, "What was God thinking???", like whenever you see a giraffe or a three toed sloth? Well I think that question a lot when I am looking at my children. I mean what was God thinking when he entrusted the lives of these two incredible children into my my care?? I mean lets be honest, there are plenty of stable, sane people who deserve these kids more than I do, so why me? Maybe it's because before I gave birth I was generally a stable person but something happened during the birth of my daughter. I am convinced that when my uterus began to contract it released a chemical into my body that causes extreme phobias and paranoia. As soon as she was placed pink and wiggly into my arms every stranger was looked at with suspension as possibly being a pervert or kidnapper. I was so paranoid that someone would steal her that for months I would place her in her carseat in the bathtub while I showered in our glass enclosed shower peering at her in between the shampoo and conditioner stage worried that armed robbers were going to break into the house and pass up the big screen TV and all of the electronics to kidnap my crying, infant never to be seen again. Yes people it was that bad. I also never thought in all of the years that I imagined being a mom that I would ever voluntarily stick my finger up another human beings nose, yet I have held down both of my babies to clear their airways from whatever foreign body might cause them to suffocate in their sleep. Now as they are getting older and more independent it is getting harder and harder to "cut that cord". Gracy for instance is so trusting and will ask to spend the night with one of her friends and it will be someone that I have not had a chance to do a background check on yet. I am having a hard time giving her an acceptable excuse that will not scare the bee jeesus out of her so I usually say something like, "Oh, sorry, not tonight we've got plans early in the morning" and then quickly trying to come up with plans for in the morning. When what I really want to say to her is, "Honey, we don't know them well enough and they might very well be serial killers who collect pretty little girls in their basements and if anything every happened to you I would go crazy and hurt them and then mommy would go to prison and then daddy would have to raise Chase on his own, and nobody wants that to happen right?"
Surely they make medication for this right? Or maybe I could just get a hysterectomy or a transfusion or something. Whatever the answer is it better come quick cause Gracy will be 16 in 7 years and will be expecting to drive and go out on dates. Uggg, I think I feel a panic attack coming on just thinking about it!!!