Application to be my friend....

Midland Day 25

Scenery: I have found green!!!!! Big tall trees with birds and everything!

Gracy: Happy as can be.

Chase: Only crying every other day to go home now

John: Happy and cheerful and not willing to attend my pity parties.

Friends: ZERO, ZILCH, NADA.

Well, I have gotten out of the apartment some this week, and I actually socialized with some other moms at the park with a moms group I have found here. They have all been really nice, and I am beginning to feel more comfortable talking to complete strangers. I am working really hard not scaring them off by following them around or asking directions to their house or if we can come over for Easter!!!:O)

I also found a cat hiding in the parking lot the other day. It took forever for me to lure him over but he got away before I could yank his collar off and make him my own. I was going to call him,"No. 1". Okay, just kidding, I did see a cat but he wouldn't give me the time of day. Maybe tomorrow I'll come armed with a can of tuna.

So, since I have noticed that the women of Midland are not beating down my door to be my friend I have decided to be pro active. I'm thinking an ad on Craigslist should do the trick. I am going to be very specific and quite picky since I'm not getting any younger and frankly do not want to be annoyed by needy people such as myself. Here's what I have come up with so far:



My new friend must be older, fatter and shorter than me (I've always wanted to be the younger, skinny, tall one in the group). They must be the quiet good listener type, since we all know how much I have to say. They must have a good healthy sick sense of humor, and laugh at all of my off the wall jokes. They must have kids that are louder and more obnoxious than my two darlings so that even when my kids are driving me insane I can always feel comfort in the knowledge that, "at least they aren't as bad as _________'s little heathens." They must have their own home or apartment, weirdo's living in grandma's basement need not apply. They must love God, animals (not the slithery kind), America and Greys Anatomy. Okay, they don't have to LOVE Grey's but it would be a bonus.
Last but not least they must be loyal and fun and tolerant enough to put up with me.

All applicants will go through a strict screening process including webcam interviews conducted by my loyal friends back home, a background check (you know how I feel about weirdos), and a simple blood test, (can't have you infecting my family with some weirdo fungus or something). I realize it's a lot but it's not personal.

In return of said friendship I promise to be loyal and fun loving, to listen when I have run out of things to say and to be crafty whenever needed. And by "crafty", I mean both definitions just ask the girls from home!

So, do ya think I'd get any takers? Or, do I just need to stick with the "Crazy Cat Lady", idea????